Kiss Peace 💋 🕊
Skeletons in my closet who took forever to get ready
About time they finally put on “oh this old thing” they were casket sharp
Let’s give a big hand to The Late Har-old L. Weak, ladies and gentlemen!
Now that goes for the cheer-ren too, let me get a little hand
We meant it when we said trying our Father’s thyme on some cal and deer was gonna have ya moving your seconds hand around like ya wanted to clock somebody
Ya got Sir Wallingford on his hands and knees with Tweety Bird, Twitter Bird, Bryan Williams’ Birdman, Michael Keaton’s Birdman flying around his head
And you on your damn hands and knees for a different reason, begging please, making my flesh crawl
Boy, if you don’t …
I lied down with a dog but I didn’t get up with fleas
I woke up with what I thought was a cold sweat then I realized the company I keep
6-week-old Rottweiler, Pitbull mix I call Darkman after my favorite rapper
Licks my face when I’m sleeping like a Behr to let me know it’s time to paint the town red
Grab my coat for the sure wind
More Benjamins ‘cause X likes to live Royal
Concealed my Ace’s hardware incase I have to make these jokers PPG and get Lowe
Damn if I take any longer to get ready X gonna give it to me and have my place looking like a Shih Tzu
And I’ll only be identified by the teeth of my skeleton key, the canine, on the way out that revolving door is gonna hit you
I want a check sign next to a signed check. Number 2. I wanna walk in the bank like my shit don’t stank. 3:33. I want fuzzy handcuffs slapped on my wrist by Fine M. Banker for not taking off my hat and shades. You see, the hat for the one-eyed-monster I call Mike Wazowski. The shades to block sonny boy and little miss sunshine. But I’ll gladly take off my pants to show you I don’t have a gun in my pocket. But I do keep a pair of red striped white socks stuffed in my pants; Get your mind out the gutter. I know what you’re thinking. “Them there socks make up 9 inches of the 13 inches from earlier.” Yeah, you’re right …. because I was referring to my shoe size, not my penis, genius. And I know what you’re not thinking judging a book by its cover, “He gotta put ‘em somewhere since it’s a fashion faux pas to wear ‘em with Sperrys.” This reminds me of how much you and your girl got in common. My ensemble was the topic of our conversation last night on the phone. She asked, “What you got on?”
Navy blue shirt
Anchor print boxers
Translation: Wave goodbye to your relationship.
Door. The two O’s are double doors. The D-R is doctor. I don’t wanna walk into this hospital by myself. I need the sup in support. I need the port in support. A greeter who never harbored any ill feelings in our relationship and left my side. Your vessel of love is my safe haven. The reef in re-fuge. The sea in se-cur. I-T-Y. I thank you … for being a Wonder Woman and not a wandering whoa man did you see her …
Use to spell team I-A-M-E until my WW underscored the importance of U-N-I together. I achieved more working as a unit than I would have laboring at it alone. Is it baby or ba-by ‘cause some men leave when they hear the words “I’m pregnant.” Talking about they going to the store. Say they going to the store when muthafuckas like me can only find closed stores because they’re new and they need a customer to cut the purple ribbon for their grand opening. I ran before they put the oversized scissors in my hand, but while I was sprinting, I was looking back, unaware of traffic signs. My breast snapped the finish line ribbon. If I paid attention to the blueness of the Parking sign and the redness of the Stop sign I would have known purple lie ahead. Future turn on the lights.
I wrote this on Fanny Blankers 100th birthday, but I didn’t speed write. Her ghost in the wind blew out the candles. Ghost in the shell Donatello. Ghost in the machine Address Book Killer. Yellow pages logo when she walked her fingers across my waves. White pages logo my W extends her reach to make the line for the H sharp. Her name not Barbara. She wears her cape in the front.
Do I have to remind you she’s a Wonder Woman whose got it all from A to Z? But they trying to make the ampersand the 27th letter again. We championing the first, fourteenth, and fourth letters. 2nd Place and 3rd Place want some shit that looks like a ribbon. I blame the motivational speakers. They told me to take CAN’T out my vocabulary. I blame my grandma. She told me to say SIR as a sign of respect. These muthafuckas gave me CANCER!!!
Why the ribbon worm had to be pink doeeeeeee?
I expelled my proboscis because I’m being attacked. I’m under an immense amount of stress. I’m not multiplying. I’m breaking apart. If you don’t put me back in the water in the next few seconds there will be a ribbon in the sky, a worm in the dirt, a ribbon in the sky, a worm in the dirt, a ribbon in the … , a worm in the …
This fucking black cloud still follows me around too Em.
420 on a foggy Friday day
Can’t see the forest for the tree i hug
Yeah it’s Friday but i’m going to bake
Mary Jane exhaled, “hey, no glove, no love
i don’t want your seeds that sticky icky”
So planted tulips on her rosy cheeks
And i snooped around in my blue Dickies
Fuck TruGreen! i like having grassy weeds
My i’s low no more capital letters
Uppercuts to uppercases wham bam
i got the munchies ultimate cheddar
Catching a red-eye flight to Amsterdam
Going back to Cali for brownie points
Can a bih marry Juana in this joint?