Tag Archives: wordplay

Best Buy Prohibits Black Friday Shoppers From Camping Outside Stores After Man In Woods Incident

Best Buy asks customers suffering from any form of memory loss to sleep in cars instead of camping outside stores after man misses Black Friday sale thinking he’s in the woods.

In hopes of not getting his fist in cuffs because of fisticuffs over cuffing the last DVD of F.I.S.T. like last year, a Texas man skips Thanksgiving with his family in order to not skip any strangers in line. The decision was over a television, but 38-year-old Gater Raid is no LeBron James. “I’m just a guy who wanted to save $300 on a 50-inch.” But after not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4, not 5, not 6, not 7 calls from his wife fustigating him over his choice, Gater Raid started drinking heavily.

“I must’ve woke up hung over. My head was hurting so bad I didn’t remember a thing I did last night. I only found out ‘cause of my morning breath. I woke up startled like a kid in Sims 4 when you cancel the sleep action. I didn’t know why I was in a tent. I didn’t know why bells where ringing (Salvation Army), why people were yelling. I thought I was still asleep and dreaming. I peeked out the tent and saw everyone running from something. After I saw all those little chicken legs I quickly jerked my head back inside ‘cause I was afraid of seeing a giant turkey chasing them. Maybe they missed Thanksgiving too and it wanted revenge? I don’t know. I looked around to find my phone so I could call police. When I couldn’t find it that’s when I knew I was in the woods ‘cause I never take any electronics with me on camping trips. I found the courage to poke my head out again, and this time, extended my neck a little further and saw this purple tent with a table sitting in front of it. They had a banner with a cellphone on it. I ask have they called the cops. Said something about Boost Mobile not snitches and stuff. That’s when I realized I was in front of Best Buy and it was Black Friday.”

As of writing, Best Buy or any other store haven’t reported any similar incidents and Raid’s wife would not give any details on what she is getting her husband for Christmas. The staff here at Futuristically Yours doesn’t know if that’s due to the tradition of the holiday or if that means she’s not getting him shit. Sorry readers!

What did you buy on Black Friday?

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WordPressident #10

You can tell how long the skirrrt was that Mercedes matured
Went from a narrow body staying in its lane to a wide body hogging up both
The driver is indecisive
There’s a fork in the road
But if they had my view at 30,000 feet they would see it’s the forked tongue of the devil
And they’re on the highway to hell no matter which way they turn
Now I could be wrong ’cause I have some wings on the left and right
And some creative clouds that look like the periodic table
All blocking my view
The pilot points out symbols BR, BA but over the intercom he’s breaking bad
Or is it due to my ears popping ’cause I ain’t hearing this extra extra shit
Like spelling exxxtra with 3 X’s
What is this? word porn

WordPressident #8

Secret handshake doorknob fingernail in keyhole
Secret shhh sounds of the ocean fisheye lens peephole
Door opens ehhh ship my pants watching shit’s creek/creak flow
Crying a river tears salty crackers Soylent Green is people
We gotta stop them somehow, Detective Thorn stood tall
I’m doing my part, making good calls
Like when this hood broad stripped everything she could off, unhooked bras
On cam nudes tons/Cam Newton captioned one photo “load my box with your foot…balls”
I said they don’t call me Passport Bear for nothing/nuttin’ and took off
Leave need ta fish her/Lenita Fisher troubled water is the place to be
Gotta do what I can do/candle too much pondering and it’s too late/lake for me
Cause some pool shark already dock ter/daughter and if the current don’t leave the cat alone uh/Catalonia like a bat I’m gone ’cause I can handle one but two not what my population needs
Come on safety please, talks of moving on, boyfriend trails her/trailer making me
Think Ock her man/Aquaman not in the picture I guess I gotta wait and see/sea
March 25th? Try April, these …
Matters are very taxing, an-noying
The one word that stopped country grammar from being the black girl with the Asian name boyfriend
Thought I took an arrow to the heart, fun gurney/journey adventure
It’s funny cause she has a knee problem as if she took one and got injured
I mean, was I wrong for thinking joint venture?
If somebody came back in your life after 3, 4 years wouldn’t you think y’all would go from natural to dentures?
And before you declare me a dead man coming for my chin cause I went at your shins you should know I’m a leg man
And whether true or false you called yourself Aquafina because you stay wet mam
I don’t go chasing waterfalls like them scrubs you use to my humor is just deadpan
Dish it out but can’t take it
Expressionless at who ya wanna leave faceless
So when you see me form a fist I’ma steal on ya and yell I GOT YA NOSE
Then pull that stick out like a sore thumb and beat you so bad with it POP ya whole …
family tree fall like leaves except timber/September she ought umm/Autumn roll
But before I say goodbye no wordplay Saela I miss ya
I rather write a third poem than a third blog war, dismissal/this missile

Kiss Peace 💋✌🏾

WordPressident #7 

Baby, lets talk
Yesterday I searched the meaning of my name
Google/googoo gaga/God God/gah gah
Expressed exasperation in exclamation, boohoo blah blah
Cause I was wrestling with it being a Christian name but here’s what took the Edge off
The meaning, totally reeked awesomeness, I hand-in-waistcoat posed for 5 seconds, keshessshhh or chachzzz, how do you write the noise a camera makes? Let’s have a spell off
This is what I read off, Wikipedia, Harold is derived from Hereweald here “army” weald “leader”
The new letters in my name made me go weee but the O went dark like periods, full stop era girl features
They’re either, but from the derivative let’s carry on pal, the diminutives is Harry and Hal
With 6 days remaining before January is out the dictionary has crowned …
One the word of the day I’ll let you shoulder time browsing
But just note, today, I used it in a sentence so much I lost count it’s over 9 thousand
But let’s not drag on about me, me, let’s talk about you, yeah you, ballsy/ball Z, could ya be more ballsy?
The customer is always right, yeah from 3 to 9
But at 9:01 in the 901 a right to the customer would’ve got me 3 to 9
But my feet are fine ’cause I’m sitting on my ass all day
Warehouse? Unless it’s a TV inside my closet, speaking of that, hallways
Revealed a page, I’m thinking what is this cause my bills are paid, pest control already did their deal and sprayed
I pick up the note from that wide ass gap and it revealed a fate
Tiredrun Parkinsons/Tyrone Parsons is no longer employed where I live and stay
I’m thinking this can’t be real, a prank
But when I saw the edges of that same letter underneath my neighbor’s door
I knew the lights that shine through the cracks was just that and not a tape record
But I don’t know if I’m on the same accord about the smoke detector looking over where I make the score
But that smile wasn’t safe no more ’cause my grandma went to the hospital at 7 she was aching sore
I checked on her at 10:30 and she STILL HASN’T BEEN-, say no more
You should get every nickel back from the insurance you’re paying for ’cause what are you, what are you, what are you waiting for?
(Ssswowwww)
Make doctors nurses patients, then make their family members impatient, boy!
(Ouchhhhhh)