Tag Archives: writing

Momma’s Boy: A Poem for My Mother

Originally written October 21, 2006. Left as is besides mentioning of last name for privacy reasons. I titled it Famous Last Words. Left Last Words. 

Betty **** did not save the best for last

My mom made her mother a grandma first

My mom made her sisters want to have kids

So my cousins should thank me for their life

My mom and my dad should have got married

So the name Strong compliments what she is

Damn I wish I was born on Mother’s Day

Cuz there is no gift like the gift of life

My son will be named after me, his pop

My daughter will be named after my mom

Mom did not raise me but I will raise her

I will die for you mom, you gave me life

Harold … I’m the work of art Betty ****

Pen running out of ink, mom I love you …- Artist of the Year

My pen actually was out of ink. You can see the ink fading on this line while the previous lines are bold face. I can’t remember if this was real or I got another pen to create the effect.

 

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Daily Writing Prompt: I’m From …

Person – Jenkins, what are you still doing here? Alvin is on his way out.

Jenkins- I know. I’m ready for him.

Person – What do you mean you’re ready for him? You can’t fight!

Jenkins – I know, but I’ma scare him with 4 words. He’s gonna get spooked and run in front of everybody, and I’m going to look like a legend.

Person – Are you serious? Oh my God! There he is!

Jenkins – Watch this … I’m from Brooklyn, son!

Person – He’s still approaching!

Jenkins – He probably didn’t hear me. clears throat I’M FROM BROOKLYN, SON!

Person – He’s not stopping!

Jenkins- I’m from Bed Stuyvesant and I’m the livest one. Home of B-I-G!

Person – It’s not working. Say another place!

Jenkins – I’m from Chi-raq, you know, Chicago and Iraq.

Person – He is marching over here like a soldier!

Jenkins – I’m from Kiladelphia!

Person – None of those nicknames are working!

Jenkins – I’m from Detroit, home of the bad boy pistons. Isiah Thomas and them. Oh My God I can’t think of anymore places with high crime rates.

Alvin – steps in front of Jenkins and looks left

Person – I’ll watch it on TV runs off

Jenkins – stammering Did you hear where I said I was from?

Alvin – It doesn’t matter where you’re from. It matters where you’re going.

Jenkins – Where am I going?

Alvin – To the hospital, but don’t worry, I’m going to make sure your teeth fly out your mouth and land in each of those places you just named. Home sweet home!

Balcony Baseball

Property Manager – Hey, Mr. Pitt, what can I do for you today?

Resident – I looked at my lease papers and saw the rent breakdown. I’m paying $69 per month because of baseball?

Property Manager- Yes, your apartment has a balcony that overlooks the A’s baseball field.

Resident – So what? That’s not why I chose it. I don’t even watch baseball.

Property Manager – Well, I’m sorry, but the lease explains that anyone who moves into our apartments with a view of the action on the baseball field is required to pay our sports extra fee.

Resident – What? DirecTV doesn’t even charge that much a month for MLB Extra Innings!

Property Manager – How do you know that? I thought you didn’t watch baseball?

Resident – I don’t! The cable provider y’all use is DirecTV. Look, I want to be reimbursed my $276 for the last 4 months.

Property Manager – I’m sorry, but we can’t do that.

Resident – And why not?

Property Manager – Because you should have read that four months ago.

Resident – You should have told me that 4 months ago.

Property Manager – No, you should have read that. I went over all the important stuff, one of which was the rent itself, which you were perfectly fine with.

Resident – Yeah, but if I know I can save some money especially in regards to something I don’t even partake in then I want to take advantage of it. Well, baseball ended a few weeks ago, so am I still gonna have to pay this $69 during the off-season?

Property Manager – Yes, its an amazing view.

Resident – I want my money back, and I want it now!

Property Manager – I’m sorry.

Resident – Alright.

3 hours later …

Property Manager – Hey, we don’t allow masks to be worn in our offices.

Person – Yeah, I’m sorry. I’m on my way to see Justice League, and stop here first and use the change machine.

Property Manager – Okay, well you need to take off your mask while in the office.

Person – I can’t or I’ll get electrocuted.

Property Manager – Okay, you need to get out now. You are starting to creep me out with that voice. Why are you talking like that? Did you know Ben Affleck plays Batman now? And why are you holding that bat? That’s not one of Batman’s gadgets.